Overlooked and Ignored
The Missing Message
Ninety-eight percent of conversations don’t end when we want them to.
Sometimes we didn’t even have the chance to say what we wanted, and other times, they go on for too long.
But what about the ones that never happen or the other 90 percent that miss the mark?
When women talk about what they want, they often say they desire more curiosity from their partner. They want their mate to show interest in their accomplishments.
They want a bit of “woo”.
So what’s the problem?
One of the first issues is in their assumptions. They believe that their partner isn’t interested in them.
Or, that their partner doesn’t work that way.
And fair enough to the last one because he isn’t operating that way now. But the truth is that there is a crucial missing factor or a few.
As I was thinking about this topic, I wondered if my mate thought I thought about her accomplishments. I had an opportunity yesterday to offer that interest.
My wife had scheduled her Peloton workout to celebrate a running milestone. She had completed 450 runs with them, and she was running with Becs Gentry.
I only knew because I was looking for a way to demonstrate curiosity. I had missed the celebration in one of the other milestones.
I came home from work and said, “Hey, did you get called out?” She did!
I am telling you this story because some people do not consider getting giving praise and attention because they think the other doesn’t need it or want it.
Especially if you are like my wife, who is very self-sufficient. You might think she doesn’t need it.
Unlike me, she doesn’t need a lot of praise. She is internally motivated.
So if your partner is intrinsically motivated. They may not seek acknowledgement like you do.
You may be internally motivated. But You still celebrate others’ accomplishments because you are awesome.
Doesn’t mean everyone is as dedicated to appreciating other people as you are.
You may not receive recognition because you are not requesting it. As soon as I wrote that, some of you will say, “If I have to ask for it, then it doesn’t count”.
Let me challenge this thinking for a moment…
If you ask someone to do something and they do it, what is the reason?
They did it because you asked, they care, they want to make you happy…
Don’t all these things relate to you being recognized?
Is there something in you that prevents you from asking for something?
For some women (or men), the reason is that it is scary.
It means being vulnerable. The idea that it doesn’t mean anything doesn’t hold water.
Now, there is a way to ask, and that is another topic.
But consider this: If you want a flower garden.
Each flower is a symbol of your desires, beliefs, and feelings…
If the soil doesn’t receive what it needs, the seeds don’t sprout, and your garden remains bare.
You are left wondering why they failed to understand your wishes, dreams, and beliefs.
The bloom never came. The recipient remains unaware of the seeds that need to be germinated.
If you are interested in sharing your wishes in a way that they will be heard, leave a comment below or subscribe to read my articles.
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