The Best Couples Therapy That You Have Never Heard Of

Relationship Boot Camps or “Couples Intensives” are quickly becoming my favorite approach to treating relationship issues for couples. These day-long sessions are ground breaking for those seeking to implement changes right away.

They also serve as an effective alternative for the many couples who struggle to keep up with the long-term schedule required to attend traditional couple’s therapy.

While traditional couples therapy doesn’t work for everyone, Couples Intensives are a way to get the benefits of effective couples therapy in a hurry and avoid the pitfalls of traditional therapy! This new innovative approach is one that I, and a handful of colleagues, are using with great success.

For some time, churches and laypeople have offered couples retreats or weekends. While these experiences may provide some benefits to couples, they are no match for sessions facilitated by masters of The Couples Institute.

For the last 35 years, the founders, Drs. Ellyn Bader and Peter Pearson, have trained therapists in over 50 countries. They’re trusted experts on The Today Show, The New York Times, Oprah Magazine, and more.

And they’re sought after guests for the world’s preeminent couples therapy conferences. They are considered pioneers of couples therapy, and they have developed an intensive apprenticeship program to pass their knowledge off to a few carefully chosen therapists.

Each year, Ellyn and Pete interview and select only 5–10 therapists for their advanced Master Mentoring program. Over the course of a year, we study closely under Drs. Bader and Pearson, learning what they do, why they do it, and how to do it.

There is no other couples therapy training program like it on the planet, and the therapists who graduate are exceptional at identifying couples’ real issues and treating the underlying cause. Many couples who work with therapists from the Master Mentoring program experience massive and lasting relationship transformation, especially after a Couples Intensive.

Intensives are a cutting edge treatment utilizing the Developmental Model. The longer 6–10 hour sessions help the therapist get laser focused on exactly what the couple needs, and can start to create change right away. Couples often receive months-worth of therapy in a single day.

Traditional therapy is time intensive (it can take months of weekly meetings to see real change), involves interruptions (bringing the therapist up to speed about the latest fight, only getting half way through an issue, and then waiting a week to bring it up again), and requires a skilled therapist. It’s no wonder the average couple doesn’t pursue outside help for their relationship. Couples Intensives provide a welcome alternative.

Couples Intensives are only just gaining popularity and are a new way to work for many. Because of my background in triathlons, I am partial to the term “relationship boot camp.”

In these boot camps, we set aside a day to work on your relationship. You’ll do some preparation work and come in ready to work. We get laser focused on your goals so you can get the most out of our time together.

Just last week, I completed one of these sessions with a couple. The couple was able to make weeks’ worth of progress in one day on an issue they struggled over for the last few years.

In this example, the wife was able to identify and articulate the real reason for her strong desire to save money. She was able to unpack her fear and talk about how scary it was for her to think of not being prepared for the future.

The husband was dealing with his own existential crisis; he didn’t want to have worked so hard only to be told he should be sacrificing more. Through the session, he was able to express his fear of “dying without living” and his need to be able to experience certain things. The couple was able to understand the other’s desires and they were finally able to negotiate in a way that worked for each of them. It would have taken at least a month’s worth of traditional therapy to get this far with this issue — that is, if they didn’t have anything else come up in-between sessions.

The above scenario is just one example of a relationship issue that can be quickly and effectively dealt with during a Couples Intensive. There is no limit to the potential benefit to couples who participate provided they are willing to put in the work!

I am releasing a series of articles where I will provide details on Couples Intensives, why they work, and how to determine if they are a good fit for you.
If you’re curious to know more about Couples Intensives, click here to see the program that I offer.